“Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. My motto for single parenting.  I have learned to be devious, charming, bribe, and multi task like an air traffic controller.

In 2011 I had the pleasure, pain, endured the torture of single parenting many times.  I have learned inner strength, patience, and how to shower and give timeouts through shower curtain.  I now have so much respect for single parents (regardless of if it is due to jobs/by choice or fact of life). I have no insomnia as my morning starts at 6:05, and end whenever children are in bed.  But does it ever really end?  Once children go to bed, there is the packing of bags for next day, laundry, meal prep, and sometimes your work.  There has been days when I sit down with a glass of water and realize that is the first time I have relaxed all day, and it is 9:10pm.

I have learned to let the house get dirty, eat leftovers for 2 days straight, and say “oh well” as many as 10 times in a day.

It hasn’t been easy.  It hasn’t been without screaming matches, and it hasn’t killed me (yet). As I chuck 2 new puzzles in front of the children, and I head out the door to shovel snow, I am reminded that I can ask for help. Something I am not very good at.  I prepare to take on the day doing daily chores(empty dishwasher, pack snacks, wash dishes, make beds, toss in a laundry, get woodstove going, and perhaps even bring in 4 loads of wood) and in between all of this eat a bite of toast off a plate, and say for the 100 time, stop fighting please…. I think and dream of a vacation, and then I picture the vacation starting with 1 child on my back, one holding my hand as I push a huge luggage cart with my foot…and I think maybe next year…

Lessons I have learned…

-crockpot is a lifesaver (though I still overcook every roast)

-if you can, having kids (or yourself) pick out their clothes in the evening for the next day saves time in the morning

- nap when children nap

-if you make plans for the morning it makes the afternoon fly by

-Why clean up- it just gets dirty again in 10 min

-although not a big fan of convenience foods, a box of Annie’s mac and cheese with frozen peas can be good supper in a pinch. So can tuna melts with frozen peas on the side (I almost always have cheese, bread and a can of tuna)

-cleaning washroom while children are in the bathroom are in the tub kills 2 birds with 1 stone, however flipping through a magazine is a better choice

-if you need to get something done and don’t want to use the tv (say you have already used this enough for one day, ha ha), let your kids look through some photo albums. They love nothing more than looking and asking all kinds of questions

-try to take some time for yourself. I know personally once the kids are in bed I do all the things I need to for the next day, then spend some time on myself- this usually involves just sitting, as I find I run around most of the day.

-packing lunches/bags etc. is a smart move to do the night before (still working on this one)

-if you are single-parenting for reasons such as spouse’s career, try really hard not to resent your partner. It can be really difficult, but they are working hard as well, and missing out on time with the kids

-my expectations of that workout class are very high, even more so if I am paying for a babysitter to do that workout

-putting on makeup and doing your hair is now called damage control and don`t forget under eye concealer!

-don’t be so hard on yourself…something we all struggle with, we can only do our best, and singing raffi very loudly keeps you in check.

 Thanks to staffer Jen, who added input.